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Virginia Wedding Photographer
Table of Contents:
- Wedding Party vs. No Wedding Party: What’s Right For You?
- Benefits of Not Having a Wedding Party
- Alternatives to Having a Traditional Wedding Party
I have absolutely loved witnessing more and more couples forgo outdated traditions, in favor of a more personal, meaningful wedding day. As time goes on and the industry evolves, weddings have gone from templated events, focused on aesthetics and antiquated practices, to one-of-a-kind celebrations that speak to each couple’s individual journey.
There are a few customs that are often the first to be tossed out: first looks at the altar, garter tosses, and the expectation that the newlyweds will provide hundreds of guests with expensive favors.
But there’s one other tradition that I’ve seen begin to dwindle recently, and evolve into something even more beautiful for everyone involved: the wedding party. And honestly? I am so here for it!
That’s why I’ve created this guide to help you decide if the traditional wedding party structure is right for you—and why your special day might actually be better off without it. Plus, I’ve included a list of alternative ways to make sure your loved ones are still included in the festivities!
Wedding Party vs. No Wedding Party: What’s Right For You?
Opting out of a wedding party has become increasingly popular among my couples, for various reasons. This decision often comes with questions and hesitations, though, as it can be difficult to go against a long-lasting tradition for fear of judgement, external opinions, or the worry of making the “wrong” choice. Before we dive in further, let’s first address the common questions I hear about having or not having a wedding party.
Can you have a wedding without a wedding party?
Absolutely! Otherwise, I wouldn’t be writing this blog post. I think one of the best things about modern weddings is that there is no “wrong” or “right” choice, and there’s no “can” or “can’t.” It’s all about what the couple wants, and what’s right for their unique relationship. How beautiful is it that you get to choose what would be meaningful to you, and curate the most amazing day based on that—rather than old-fashioned traditions, expectations, or societal norms?
Is it rude not to have a wedding party?
Not at all. While it may still be considered a bit untraditional, there’s nothing rude about choosing the way you want to spend your wedding day, and how you involve (or don’t involve) the people you love. There may be family members or friends that don’t understand your decision, and may even offer up unwanted opinions—but ultimately, that is about them, not you. And remember, we are focused on what YOU want here!
Should we have a wedding party or not?
Unfortunately, I can’t give you a definitive answer here; it’s something only you and your partner can decide. But here’s what I can say: if you value spending the day together, and being more present with friends and family, then not having a wedding party may be the right option for you.
I’m curious to hear what you’ll think once you’ve read through the benefits I’m about to share!
Benefits of Not Having a Wedding Party
Ready to find out why more and more couples are ditching the traditional wedding party?
This was originally going to be a list of the pros and cons of having a wedding party, but there aren’t really “cons”—simply choices that are right for some couples, and aren’t right for others.
With that said, here are the biggest advantages I’ve seen amongst my couples who have decided against a wedding party—and how this decision ultimately impacted their day for the better.
It’s cheaper for everyone involved
First of all, not having a wedding party means that you save a heck of a lot of money—and so do your guests. Traditionally, being a member of a wedding party comes with significant out-of-pocket costs (unless the couple is paying for everything): hair, makeup, florals, attire… it adds up, fast. On your end, you might also have to pay for extra room blocks at a hotel, additional meals, and potentially gifts for your wedding party members.
Without the financial requirements of having a wedding party, you’ll be able to reallocate the funds you’d typically spend on all of this toward something that matters more! Maybe that’s your florist, venue, caterer, or even your future honeymoon. It also removes a weight from your would-be wedding party members, as they don’t feel pressured to spend money that they’d rather put elsewhere. Plus, coordination becomes much easier when you’re not trying to make sure everyone’s outfits go together.
There’s no pressure or drama
This is probably the biggest stressor I see couples deal with when they have a wedding party: the potential for drama or conflict within the group. It’s HARD to choose friends for the positions required in a wedding party, and can often cause resentment, guilt, or feelings of exclusion—none of which we want to get in the way of your amazing wedding experience! Without a wedding party, there’s no room to potentially upset people who don’t get picked, and you won’t have the pressure on you to create the “right” group. It honestly just makes things emotionally easier and lighter for everyone.
Rehearsals will be shorter
With fewer people who need to walk down the aisle, your rehearsal(s) will be so much quicker! That means more time to enjoy being with the people you love before the big day, less time re-walking down the aisle over and over to get the timing/positioning right.
Friends get to be fully present as guests
As fun as being part of a wedding party is, it also comes with a lot of pressure, responsibility, and expectations. If your friends are simply guests at your wedding, they get to enjoy the experience of the day fully, without extra responsibilities.
You can get ready together
I already adore when couples get ready together, and it becomes SO much easier if you don’t have the pressure of added people in the room! It can be such a special and intimate moment to share together before you walk down the aisle, and I highly recommend it if you want to spend as much quality time as possible together during the day. A few of my couples have done this now, and I loooove it every time!
You’ll have extra breathing room in your timeline
If you don’t have to dedicate about an hour of your timeline to wedding party photos, that means a whole extra hour you get to use as breathing room in your schedule. It also means you have more time to be present with your friends and family that you normally wouldn’t, whether it’s before your ceremony, during cocktail hour, or at the beginning of your reception. The more space we have between the day’s main events, the more flexible we can be if anything runs behind or needs to be changed at the last minute. Plus, we can also use this extra time for more couples portraits, of course!
Alternatives to Having a Traditional Wedding Party
If you’re worried that opting out of a wedding party means you can’t include your friends in fun and meaningful ways, think again! Even if you don’t have a wedding party in the traditional sense, you can still ask them to perform standard wedding party duties without the pressure of the label.
Here are a few ways to involve your close friends in your big day, if you opt out of a wedding party:
Assign a color palette
Who said that you can’t have an attire color palette without a wedding party? Asking your friends to wear a certain color palette can be a fun way to still let them stand out from the rest of your guests, and be a part of your “inner circle” without the rest of the wedding party traditions. Instead of matching their dresses or suits, or coordinating exact colors, you might invite them to pick from a palette of earth tones, pastels, or bright summer shades that go with your decor. Dress codes at weddings are obviously super common, so think of this request as a bonus layer to your dress code—reserved just for your besties.
Make time for friend portraits
Just like we’ll get plenty of photos of the two of you and your families, it’s important that we make time for photos with your friends, too! We can do this during the family photo portion of your day, so make sure that your friends know when and where we’ll be at this time.
Have only a maid of honor or best man
Want to have your best friends by your side without having to form a 20-person wedding party? Go for it! There are no rules here, and wedding parties aren’t all or nothing. You can absolutely ask your closest friend to be your maid of honor or best man, and let that be enough. Maybe they stand by your side at your ceremony, maybe not; maybe they offer emotional support throughout the day without taking on the full responsibilities of a traditional MOH/BM. It’s fully up to you to decide how you would feel most loved and celebrated, and what you’d like to ask of them.
Invite them to get ready with you
I don’t know about you, but I LOVE getting ready for a night out alongside my best friends. It’s so much more fun to get all prepped and glammed up when you’re laughing with the people you love—so why not ask them to get ready with you the morning of your wedding? This is exactly what bridesmaids and groomsmen would traditionally do; there’s no reason to get ready alone just because you’re not having a wedding party (unless you want to, or you’re getting ready with your partner).
Host an unforgettable bachelor/bachelorette party
You might be opting out of a wedding party, but that doesn’t mean you have to opt out of a killer bach party beforehand. Bachelor and bachelorette parties are an amazing way to spend time with your BFF’s before the formal wedding festivities begin! This is an opportunity for you to let loose, be present with the people you love most, and make incredible memories together to carry into the wedding and onward. It can take off a bit of pressure to spend as much time with friends as possible on your wedding day, since you already shared these special moments with them.
Ask them to give a speech/make a toast
Finally, toasts and speeches during your reception offer a wonderful opportunity to hear from your friends, and give them space to show their support—just as you would your family members. This can easily be done with or without a wedding party, and is a beautiful way to reflect on and celebrate the relationships that have brought you here!
So, I have to know—have your opinions about wedding parties changed at all after reading this?
I’d love to hear whether you’re planning to have a wedding party or no wedding party when you inquire about your special day! No matter what you decide, I’ll always be the biggest advocate and supporter for doing what’s uniquely right for you.
Be sure to check out more of my favorite wedding guides and resources below:
